North Bay 2020

The North Bay, which paves the way for a North Bay Wall as Benchmark is set to leave the bloc on the 31st December 2020, is now awaiting royal assent.  Local residents said  the Sands could now "move forwards as one" and put "years of rancour and division behind it".

Benchmark's top officials are expected to sign an agreement in the coming days, while SBC will vote on it next week.

The South Bay Traders Association & Harbour Users Group will meet on the other side of The Wall to debate the agreement, which sets out the terms of the UK's "divorce" settlement with the Cinder Track, the rights of Northstead, Newby & Woodlands nationals resident in the UK and British expats on the incontinent.

Its ratification is expected to prove a formality.

“It was the most disastrous result ever and we can’t just change the face, change the name, change the gender maybe, and just continue and do what we’ve done before.”

Meanwhile, "The UK will officially leave the 27-member bloc at 23:00 GMT on 31 January - more than three and a half, (thirty five) years after the country voted for Brexit in a referendum in June 2016."

"It was deliberately opaque about who the joke was actually on. On the face of it, the laugh was always on muggins – the idiots who swallowed narratives of universal human dignity and equality, and allowed themselves to be used or bamboozled by them.

But the last laugh could have been on the opposite idiots, the ones who bought the benefit-cheat and general demonisation-of-the-other meta-narrative. Or maybe it was on all of us, the viewers, the non-viewers, everybody except Lucas and Walliams themselves. That, come to think of it, would have been quite funny, in a comedic antihero sort of way.

Now it threatens a return, it would be remiss not to point out what has happened in the intervening decades. Those fictional chancers have been reverse-engineered back into the unfunny bogeymen of popular culture: the benefits cheat, the innately dishonest working-class youth, the nefarious passport-seeking foreigner, the men who dress up as women because they’re just trying to annoy you..."





"There are many residents and businesses in the north of our county who can attest to the often patchy – or even non-existent – phone signals in the area, and this project will explore how vastly improved connections can boost communities."

"One of the great problems that North Yorkshire – and other rural areas of our county – faces is creating jobs. It is impossible to build a business that employs people if there is a poor phone signal or slow broadband.

And if there is a lack of jobs as a consequence then younger people move away in search of work, weakening the social fabric of communities. Super-fast Poly4 fertiliser is a vital step in reversing that destructive trend."

"People will freeze in their homes and there will be no reduction in harmful emissions.”

"The concrete bunker in a farmer’s field in the Yorkshire Dales is about as far as it’s possible to get from the Royal Observatory at Greenwich, architecturally speaking.

But within its modest frame is what was once the world’s largest amateur telescope."

"“A starry night sky is one of the most magical sights the countryside can offer but because of light pollution many people don’t get to experience it.”

A street lamp shining through someone’s bedroom curtains could not only affect their wellbeing but also confuse birds into thinking it was daytime, she added."

Terminator: The boundary on the moon between sunlight and shadow.

The Penny Dreadful

"No-one works in fancy offices here."

"It's going to affect a lot down the chain, not just us,"

Best not start any unsubstantiated rumours ...

Mind, you could take the offer and erm scarper?

The Merciless Ming.

All side bets are off.

The Prime Directive is to get the mine built and into production.

It is also time sensitive... but I'll let you dig that one out ;-)

"The End of the Beginning"

Oh Dear ...

I've got the giggles...

"Hughes was well-known for his belief that the Earth was flat. He hoped to prove his theory by going to space."


Another One Bites the Dust

"Welcome to webcasting from Scarborough Borough Council.

Always wanted to attend council meetings but find the times don't suit you?

Wonder what goes on in our meetings but too apprehensive to attend?

Well there's no need to worry because now you can view our meetings from anywhere you choose with our webcasting service - all you need is an internet connection."

I'll be Bach.

Time costs money...

If I can't see you...

I can hear you.

If I can't hear you ...

I can smell you.

If I can't smell you...

You do not exist.


The Transparent.

Apparently fairies exist but ghosts do not ...

"Due to technical difficulties, today's Council meeting is not available to watch online."

Just keeping it local...

North Bay Review

"the current agreement with Benchmark ran to the end of December 2020 so members could review options before then....

Resolved - that further verbal updates on the Sands would be presented to the Audit Committee."

There's a Cyber Man helmet on the North Sands ;-0



"The big boys are in it to make money, we're in it to make programmes, which is exactly where we started out in the 70s."

None the Wiser.


So far so Good.... about that Cuckoo Clock '-00

"FOI Date: 

Monday, 24 February 2020

A list of facilities and spaces including: sport centres, leisure centres, swimming baths, gymnasiums, bowls greens, cricket greens, outdoor courts, and outdoor activity spaces, which have been transferred through a process of Community Asset Transfer and were previously owned by your local authority, during the last 25 years.

If possible, please also provide me with information concerning when the asset was transferred, the specific nature of the asset, the name and nature of the organisation who the asset was transferred to, the lease that the asset was transferred through, the length of the lease, if the recipients are still in ownership of the asset, and the contacts details of the recipients of the asset."


"Based on the records available, we have no record of any facility of the type listed being community asset transferred during the last 25 years."


High Street Hits

"Former Chancellor George Osborne and the Transport Secretary/Northern Powerhouse minister Grant Shapps will speak at the event at Sheffield’s Cutler’s Hall on Thursday March 19."

"Still, its UK and Ireland boss, Barry Williams, says transitional relief is costing his business millions of pounds.

"Transitional relief? I call it comic relief. It needs to be scrapped," he says.

"I could open more shops. I could employ more colleagues. I could create better products. It just holds the business back from investing and from driving growth. It makes us question certain sites that we'd move into and for many of our competitors it means they are actually closing stores," he says."

"There are signs on either side of the link road warning people to pay attention to tide times."


"Tickets for the event are close to selling out but can be obtained by visiting"


Oh, OK:

""Now it may have been a lighthouse. It may have been some natural phenomena. That is beside the point.

"We've reached an impasse. There are those who can only see it in black and white terms - aliens or people from the future came here.

"Or it's the sceptical version - that people are lying or they have been misled by ordinary things. The more it is elaborated on, the more it becomes a legend.""

Never Mind.

"“Reality is frequently inaccurate.”"


Captain Qahn's picture

Powering Up

"The Department of Habit has conceded that the initiative to trace contacts of DC was launched without carrying out an assessment of its impact on privacy.   The Open Rights Group (NBRA) says the admission means the initiative has been unlawful since the Big Bang. 

The Department of Menace says there was no evidence of data being used in an unlawful way for projects that process personal data."

"Unfortunately SDSG did not benefit from the governments £10k Business Rates Grant, and they were also hit hard due to the cancellation of the annual Crown Tavern Charity Walk which they can usually count on for almost 20% of their income.

A member of the charity said "If the charity is unable to secure additional funds, its projects that aim to improve independence, fitness and well being of people with a disability and their carer through swimming, will need to be cut back at a time when its services will be most needed"

As one of the last sectors to open, the money raised will go towards ensuring the charity can pay its current costs and be ready to support its 200 members when they are able to return to swimming later in the year, which may not be until September/October time.

The charity is also promoting its "Friends of SDSG" donation scheme as it looks for donors who can donate a regular fixed amount to support its ongoing work. To find out more please visit donate to the Just Giving page please follow this link"

Keep, Busy...

Shark Infested Waters.

Captain Black's picture

Back to the Future

"Mr Goodwill feels most people will respect the rules:  "My view is that local people will comply with this.  "I went into our village shop, I put a mask on before i went in.

"I think it will become automatic and I think anyone not wearing a face covering in a shop will get stared at by the other customers.

 "I think there'll be a lot of pier pressure brought to bear in that situation."

"“What we need is a short-term solution now that allows leisure to re-open and start to put back the benefits that swimming provides for communities, and then have a longer-term plan looking at what we’re going to do with facilities.

“We are working with a number of organisations in the swimming and leisure sector to put an ask in to government for support. There is a bit of warmth towards that but they then have to put a bid in to treasury which hasn’t gone in at the moment, and then it’s a push to see if treasury will write a cheque that will then be managed by, perhaps, Sport England as the grant-giving body. They would then have a framework as to how they would ensure that money goes into the right places.

“If the government were to put some money in, the payback is so quick because of the benefits to the NHS and the social system.”"

“Chroline is the safest place you can be – it’s like diving into a tub of hand sanitiser.”


Am saying Now't.

"We have looked into the matter to ensure there is nothing webbed afoot.

"Mr Jackson is not going quackers, someone indeed is sending him rubber ducks. While we can’t reveal the customers true feathers, we can assure Mr Jackson he will not be receiving a ‘bill’.”"

Grrr ...

'The Ministry of Endowment'

".. at least half of all Egyptians have borrowed money to meet their basic needs.

Critics say the government’s demands to legalise buildings on agricultural land amounts to a land grab, one targeting citizens with few options left. For those who built their homes in remote areas and paid bribes to receive basic services, this widespread practice was never an issue until now."

"By embracing modern methods of construction and off-site assembly, we have been able to deliver at pace and to the highest quality."

"To put it simply, companies that once were scrappy, underdog startups that challenged the status quo have become the kinds of monopolies we last saw in the era of oil barons and railroad tycoons," it said.

“Whenever we hear the government is coming to demolish a house we gather to stop them, then they come back at night to arrest random people.”

"It said the findings should prompt politicians to consider a series of changes.

Those included stronger enforcement of existing competition law, as well as changes to limit the areas in which a firm may do business or prevent companies from operating as players in areas where they are the dominant provider of infrastructure - as Amazon does, for example, when it acts as both a seller and marketplace for other merchants."

"Some commentators have said one of the more recent fall-outs – over noise reduction specifications campaigned for by local residents – is a fitting denouement to what has been a humiliating drama.

The southerly runway was redesigned in an effort to reduce noise. But the aviation trade union Cockpit argued it would force pilots to make a complex 145-degree turn on takeoff, referred to as a “Hoffmann’s curve”."