North Bay 2020

The North Bay, which paves the way for a North Bay Wall as Benchmark is set to leave the bloc on the 31st December 2020, is now awaiting royal assent.  Local residents said  the Sands could now "move forwards as one" and put "years of rancour and division behind it".

Benchmark's top officials are expected to sign an agreement in the coming days, while SBC will vote on it next week.

The South Bay Traders Association & Harbour Users Group will meet on the other side of The Wall to debate the agreement, which sets out the terms of the UK's "divorce" settlement with the Cinder Track, the rights of Northstead, Newby & Woodlands nationals resident in the UK and British expats on the incontinent.

Its ratification is expected to prove a formality.

“It was the most disastrous result ever and we can’t just change the face, change the name, change the gender maybe, and just continue and do what we’ve done before.”

Meanwhile, "The UK will officially leave the 27-member bloc at 23:00 GMT on 31 January - more than three and a half, (thirty five) years after the country voted for Brexit in a referendum in June 2016."

"It was deliberately opaque about who the joke was actually on. On the face of it, the laugh was always on muggins – the idiots who swallowed narratives of universal human dignity and equality, and allowed themselves to be used or bamboozled by them.

But the last laugh could have been on the opposite idiots, the ones who bought the benefit-cheat and general demonisation-of-the-other meta-narrative. Or maybe it was on all of us, the viewers, the non-viewers, everybody except Lucas and Walliams themselves. That, come to think of it, would have been quite funny, in a comedic antihero sort of way.

Now it threatens a return, it would be remiss not to point out what has happened in the intervening decades. Those fictional chancers have been reverse-engineered back into the unfunny bogeymen of popular culture: the benefits cheat, the innately dishonest working-class youth, the nefarious passport-seeking foreigner, the men who dress up as women because they’re just trying to annoy you..."





"There are many residents and businesses in the north of our county who can attest to the often patchy – or even non-existent – phone signals in the area, and this project will explore how vastly improved connections can boost communities."

"One of the great problems that North Yorkshire – and other rural areas of our county – faces is creating jobs. It is impossible to build a business that employs people if there is a poor phone signal or slow broadband.

And if there is a lack of jobs as a consequence then younger people move away in search of work, weakening the social fabric of communities. Super-fast Poly4 fertiliser is a vital step in reversing that destructive trend."

"People will freeze in their homes and there will be no reduction in harmful emissions.”

"The concrete bunker in a farmer’s field in the Yorkshire Dales is about as far as it’s possible to get from the Royal Observatory at Greenwich, architecturally speaking.

But within its modest frame is what was once the world’s largest amateur telescope."

"“A starry night sky is one of the most magical sights the countryside can offer but because of light pollution many people don’t get to experience it.”

A street lamp shining through someone’s bedroom curtains could not only affect their wellbeing but also confuse birds into thinking it was daytime, she added."

Terminator: The boundary on the moon between sunlight and shadow.

The Penny Dreadful

"No-one works in fancy offices here."

"It's going to affect a lot down the chain, not just us,"

Best not start any unsubstantiated rumours ...

Mind, you could take the offer and erm scarper?

The Merciless Ming.

All side bets are off.

The Prime Directive is to get the mine built and into production.

It is also time sensitive... but I'll let you dig that one out ;-)

"The End of the Beginning"

Oh Dear ...

I've got the giggles...

"Hughes was well-known for his belief that the Earth was flat. He hoped to prove his theory by going to space."


Another One Bites the Dust

"Welcome to webcasting from Scarborough Borough Council.

Always wanted to attend council meetings but find the times don't suit you?

Wonder what goes on in our meetings but too apprehensive to attend?

Well there's no need to worry because now you can view our meetings from anywhere you choose with our webcasting service - all you need is an internet connection."

I'll be Bach.

Time costs money...

If I can't see you...

I can hear you.

If I can't hear you ...

I can smell you.

If I can't smell you...

You do not exist.


The Transparent.

Apparently fairies exist but ghosts do not ...

"Due to technical difficulties, today's Council meeting is not available to watch online."

Just keeping it local...

North Bay Review

"the current agreement with Benchmark ran to the end of December 2020 so members could review options before then....

Resolved - that further verbal updates on the Sands would be presented to the Audit Committee."

There's a Cyber Man helmet on the North Sands ;-0



"The big boys are in it to make money, we're in it to make programmes, which is exactly where we started out in the 70s."

None the Wiser.


So far so Good.... about that Cuckoo Clock '-00

"FOI Date: 

Monday, 24 February 2020

A list of facilities and spaces including: sport centres, leisure centres, swimming baths, gymnasiums, bowls greens, cricket greens, outdoor courts, and outdoor activity spaces, which have been transferred through a process of Community Asset Transfer and were previously owned by your local authority, during the last 25 years.

If possible, please also provide me with information concerning when the asset was transferred, the specific nature of the asset, the name and nature of the organisation who the asset was transferred to, the lease that the asset was transferred through, the length of the lease, if the recipients are still in ownership of the asset, and the contacts details of the recipients of the asset."


"Based on the records available, we have no record of any facility of the type listed being community asset transferred during the last 25 years."


High Street Hits

"Former Chancellor George Osborne and the Transport Secretary/Northern Powerhouse minister Grant Shapps will speak at the event at Sheffield’s Cutler’s Hall on Thursday March 19."

"Still, its UK and Ireland boss, Barry Williams, says transitional relief is costing his business millions of pounds.

"Transitional relief? I call it comic relief. It needs to be scrapped," he says.

"I could open more shops. I could employ more colleagues. I could create better products. It just holds the business back from investing and from driving growth. It makes us question certain sites that we'd move into and for many of our competitors it means they are actually closing stores," he says."

"There are signs on either side of the link road warning people to pay attention to tide times."


"Tickets for the event are close to selling out but can be obtained by visiting"


Oh, OK:

""Now it may have been a lighthouse. It may have been some natural phenomena. That is beside the point.

"We've reached an impasse. There are those who can only see it in black and white terms - aliens or people from the future came here.

"Or it's the sceptical version - that people are lying or they have been misled by ordinary things. The more it is elaborated on, the more it becomes a legend.""

Never Mind.

"“Reality is frequently inaccurate.”"


Captain Qahn's picture

Powering Up

"The Department of Habit has conceded that the initiative to trace contacts of DC was launched without carrying out an assessment of its impact on privacy.   The Open Rights Group (NBRA) says the admission means the initiative has been unlawful since the Big Bang. 

The Department of Menace says there was no evidence of data being used in an unlawful way for projects that process personal data."

"Unfortunately SDSG did not benefit from the governments £10k Business Rates Grant, and they were also hit hard due to the cancellation of the annual Crown Tavern Charity Walk which they can usually count on for almost 20% of their income.

A member of the charity said "If the charity is unable to secure additional funds, its projects that aim to improve independence, fitness and well being of people with a disability and their carer through swimming, will need to be cut back at a time when its services will be most needed"

As one of the last sectors to open, the money raised will go towards ensuring the charity can pay its current costs and be ready to support its 200 members when they are able to return to swimming later in the year, which may not be until September/October time.

The charity is also promoting its "Friends of SDSG" donation scheme as it looks for donors who can donate a regular fixed amount to support its ongoing work. To find out more please visit donate to the Just Giving page please follow this link"

Keep, Busy...

Shark Infested Waters.

Captain Black's picture

Back to the Future

"Mr Goodwill feels most people will respect the rules:  "My view is that local people will comply with this.  "I went into our village shop, I put a mask on before i went in.

"I think it will become automatic and I think anyone not wearing a face covering in a shop will get stared at by the other customers.

 "I think there'll be a lot of pier pressure brought to bear in that situation."

"“What we need is a short-term solution now that allows leisure to re-open and start to put back the benefits that swimming provides for communities, and then have a longer-term plan looking at what we’re going to do with facilities.

“We are working with a number of organisations in the swimming and leisure sector to put an ask in to government for support. There is a bit of warmth towards that but they then have to put a bid in to treasury which hasn’t gone in at the moment, and then it’s a push to see if treasury will write a cheque that will then be managed by, perhaps, Sport England as the grant-giving body. They would then have a framework as to how they would ensure that money goes into the right places.

“If the government were to put some money in, the payback is so quick because of the benefits to the NHS and the social system.”"

“Chroline is the safest place you can be – it’s like diving into a tub of hand sanitiser.”


Am saying Now't.

"We have looked into the matter to ensure there is nothing webbed afoot.

"Mr Jackson is not going quackers, someone indeed is sending him rubber ducks. While we can’t reveal the customers true feathers, we can assure Mr Jackson he will not be receiving a ‘bill’.”"

Grrr ...

'The Ministry of Endowment'

".. at least half of all Egyptians have borrowed money to meet their basic needs.

Critics say the government’s demands to legalise buildings on agricultural land amounts to a land grab, one targeting citizens with few options left. For those who built their homes in remote areas and paid bribes to receive basic services, this widespread practice was never an issue until now."

"By embracing modern methods of construction and off-site assembly, we have been able to deliver at pace and to the highest quality."

"To put it simply, companies that once were scrappy, underdog startups that challenged the status quo have become the kinds of monopolies we last saw in the era of oil barons and railroad tycoons," it said.

“Whenever we hear the government is coming to demolish a house we gather to stop them, then they come back at night to arrest random people.”

"It said the findings should prompt politicians to consider a series of changes.

Those included stronger enforcement of existing competition law, as well as changes to limit the areas in which a firm may do business or prevent companies from operating as players in areas where they are the dominant provider of infrastructure - as Amazon does, for example, when it acts as both a seller and marketplace for other merchants."

"Some commentators have said one of the more recent fall-outs – over noise reduction specifications campaigned for by local residents – is a fitting denouement to what has been a humiliating drama.

The southerly runway was redesigned in an effort to reduce noise. But the aviation trade union Cockpit argued it would force pilots to make a complex 145-degree turn on takeoff, referred to as a “Hoffmann’s curve”."

'Manors Maketh A Man'

""Our model will enable service delivery improvement across the whole of the City of York and North Yorkshire, whilst minimising disruption to key services, especially for vulnerable groups and safeguarding. Our model will enable existing partnership working to grow and strengthen, to promote strong, safe, inclusive and healthy communities.

"We recognise how important devolution is to the region and the east/west model is the strongest approach to achieve a balanced combined authority with an elected mayor."

"Did you hear the one about the girl who travels to a magical faraway ice palace – by pushing a reindeer on a swing – to rescue her best friend (who looks a bit like a puffin) from the icy clutches of a Queen that hasn’t decided on an evil laugh?

You haven’t? Well, no; neither have we."

Will it be ridiculous? Will there be brilliant songs? Will you look at woolly animals in the same way again?

Yes, yes and possibly not. In that order."

“I would like to formally apologise to the families of those who were crossing the bridges when the fuses blew – putting the Welsh version first on warning signs does have its drawbacks, although I’m sure everyone agrees with the overall importance of bilingual signage.

“Still, probably worth the sacrifice – at least now we won’t have English twats coming to their second homes, making fun of our stupid accents and contributing to our economy.”

Several people have pointed out that the demolition seems a little illogical given that the hotspots in the north of England are nowhere near the Severn.

“Don’t worry, we’ve thought of that,” said Mr Drakeford."

Keep Busy ;-))

Pods & Peas

"Rights of way at North York Moors beauty spots such as the 400ft deep Hole of Horcum, the 6,000-year-old woodlands of the Forge Valley and tranquil Cod Beck Reservoir are to be reviewed amid concerns that a growing number of people are being excluded from enjoying the areas.

Park visitors who struggle to access ordinary footpaths, many of which feature obstacles such as stiles, include those with hip or knee injuries, dementia, visual impairments, parents with pushchairs and even people with large or older dogs.

Recent visitors to Cod Beck Reservoir, near Osmotherley, have stated on social media that despite work to improve the footpath, the kissing gates were tight for some wheelchairs or scooters and some of the inclines would prove to be an issue for either pushchair or wheelchair users."

"The overall aim is to increase the value of tourism to the borough so that it has a positive impact on residents and businesses but does not affect the environment or damage local communities.

The council says it is keen to build on existing traditional markets and at the same time look to attract additional aspirational, and affluent visitors, to the Yorkshire coast."

"The new destination plan will cover the period from now until 2030, which will incorporate Scarborough’s 400th anniversary in 2026.

An early target is to return the local visitor economy to pre-2020 levels by the end of 2022 and then look to increase the value by 4% year-on-year.

Cllr Liz Colling, Cabinet Member for Inclusive Growth, said: “The importance of the visitor economy to our borough can’t be overstated."

"“This new strategy – while ambitious for the borough – builds on the fantastic attractions and the stunning Yorkshire coast that we are already famed for.

“If we can capture more of the staycation market in future years it will be a shot in the arm for us.

“I encourage everyone to let us know what they think about our plans by taking part in this latest consultation.”"

A Tumble Dryer ;-))

The Ambidextrous.

I'd like to know what parts of the 'public consultation' were adopted in the Town Team Deals?

Just, as a matter of public record.


Book Ends,  Moi?

""We no longer need to dig these enormous holes in the ground - they're visible from space, some of them. We don't need to do that to get diamonds, we can just make them from the sky.""

Zzzzzz ...

"Scarborough Open Air Theatre 2021 lineup so far:
June 12 - Lionel Richie
June 19 - UB40 ft Ali Campbell and Astro
June 20 -  Ru Paul’s Drag Race: Werq The World
July 3 - Snow Patrol
July 7 - Duran Duran
July 9 - Keane
July 10 - Olly Murs
July 25 - Lewis Capaldi
August 17 - Westlife
August 20 - Nile Rodgers & CHIC"

""We see this as 21st century technology, the exact kind of thing we need to be doing to fight the climate and other sustainability crises, but also enable us to carry on living the way that we're used to living and want to live,..""

Erm ...

"While her music career has been dormant of late, no one is worried about her ability to hold our attention..."

"Before Battleship was a movie, Battleship was a game. Players had pegboards at which battleships were placed. Then, one player would try to call out coordinates, and the other player would answer “hit” or “miss.” If enough hits were called in the right order, out came the immortal catchphrase, “You sank my battleship!”"



"political judgements"

"The prime minister is asked whether the government will hand control of the struggling test-and-trace system over to local authorities - currently is is being run by private firms.

Boris Johnson admits the tracing scheme "hasn't had as much impact as we would have wanted" - but insists it has had some effect in slowing the spread of the virus.

He says it "has taken too long" for people to get test results - but this is improving, he says.

He says mass testing is a "really promising" development that could remove the need for people to self-isolate."

Oh Dear,



"Partnering with Russian space agency Roscosmos, Channel One aims to find a leading lady for the movie - provisionally titled "Challenge" - which will begin filming at the International Space Station (ISS) in October 2021.

And in a space race for the 21st century, the project is vying to pip movie star Tom Cruise to the post after he announced he would be teaming up with NASA and Elon Musk's SpaceX to film the first narrative feature outside the Earth's atmosphere at around the same time.

The casting announcement for the role says a "a real superhero" is required for the part, someone who wants to "go to the stars… at the same time as becoming a big international star".

While the successful applicant does not have to be a professional actress, she does have to be aged between 25 and 40, stand between 150 and 180cm tall, weigh between 50 and 70kg and have a "chest girth" of up to 112cm.

She is also required to have a clean criminal record."




"Those living at the North Bay Fallowfield halls of residence awoke to find workers putting up "huge metal barriers".

They were eventually pulled down as hundreds of residents - who said they were not warned about the measure - protested.

The Town Council apologised "for the concern and distress caused".

Residents said the fences, placed between buildings, blocked off some entry and exit points and left them feeling trapped."

A World Beyond Lockdown ??

"Still, he is keeping busy. The reason for our conversation today is the six-part Baron Muchausen esque audio comedy The Barren Author, in which he plays the Brigadier, a spinner of deliriously tall tales. Surreal flights of fantasy — in the second episode, a highly trained squad of Elton John lookalikes defend the genuine article from the Stasi — are lent an extra comic gleam by O’Brien’s plummy, unfazed delivery.

He claims not to see many similarities between himself and the Brigadier. “Though I do have fantasy figures who I introduce into my daily pursuits. I’ll ask a question, flip it up into the air and find a character who’ll answer it for me. I suppose it is a kind of insanity but it doesn’t harm anyone. Pretending you’re someone else is rather wonderful. It’s a very childish pursuit, isn’t it?”"


'Scarborough’s 400th' ?

"Speaking afterwards to the Local Democracy Reporting Service, she said that the BID was “simply too big” and was not helping businesses during the pandemic.

The BID is made up of more than 1,300 businesses in the tourism industry, from Staithes in the north to Spurn Point in the south, with a rateable value of more than £12,000, who have to pay a mandatory levy into the BID, calculated at 1.5% of their rateable value.

The 2018 ballot of businesses to create the BID was passed by a margin of 217 in favour with 175 against, on a turnout of just above 29%.

The BID will generate around £5 million in levies over five years, which is then used to promote the coast and support businesses through events, festivals and initiatives.

It has not been without criticism since it came into force. The Yorkshire Coast Levy Payers Association (YCLPA), made up of 400 independent businesses, has campaigned against the BID since it was created.

Mrs Anderson Brown said she had previously been a “passionate supporter” of BIDs elsewhere and had been involved in the formation of similar schemes in York, Bradford and Leeds.

But, in representing 30 levy-paying businesses in the Scarborough shopping centre, she said that the current make-up of the BID was not working.

She said: “Overall the collective view from my levy payers is that there has been a negligible or no real support provided for levy payers throughout this period.”

Mrs Anderson Brown said that it was wrong to assume that if a business paid the mandatory levy it was endorsing the work of the BID.

She added: “The fact is that levy payers, such as those in the Brunswick and the Brunswick itself, pay not because we want to but because we are abiding by the rules as it is a legal requirement.”"

"In the average year, more than 10 million visits are made to the borough, contributing more than £800 million to the local economy.

The visitor economy strategy and destination plan has been updated in light of the coronavirus pandemic, which had a devastating effect on this year’s holiday season.

While the borough did benefit from an influx of visitors at the end of the initial coronavirus lockdown, the economy took a considerable hit. However, experts believe an appetite for staycations in the wake of Covid-19 will benefit the borough next year.

The council says it is keen to hear the views of residents and businesses. The strategy can be read on the council website and the consultation questions answered online.

Work on the new plan started in August in consultation with visitor and hospitality businesses right across the borough, combined with responses to an earlier consultation.

The overall aim is to increase the value of tourism to the borough so that it has a positive impact on residents and businesses but doesn’t affect the environment or damage local communities.

The council says it is keen to build on existing traditional markets and at the same time look to attract additional aspirational, and affluent visitors, to the Yorkshire coast. 

One of the key objectives of the strategy is to encourage tourists to stay longer and explore more of what the borough has to offer. This would be achieved by promoting its hidden gems, coastal and countryside villages and its beauty spots."

'Spawwater discovered flowing into the sea..."

S'pose they could start by  're-imaging' the OAT

The Ironic.

""At the moment, there's a lot of talk about people having multiple careers and mid-career shifts, but I don't think it's easy and I think for people who don't have the resources to retrain, there's a shortage of specialist on-the-job training,""

A Round Number

"Our defence is what it has always been: context. Have you read the article? Have you watched the film? Have you read the book? Were you in the room? If people take the work in context and criticise it, that’s fine. We should ignore the rest."


Alternative Reference

Application Validated
Fri 30 Oct 2020

Open Air Theatre Northstead Manor Gardens Scarborough NORTH YORKSHIRE YO12 7UZ

Variation of condition 1 on decision 16/02308/3RG to allow up to 30 major concerts / events each year

Pending consideration

Appeal Status

Appeal Decision

Not Applicable

Am sure they promised us Rhianna...

We hope the sun is shining where you are...

"Volunteers from Ramblers have searched maps covering England and Wales and found over 49,000 miles of unrecorded rights of way – 2,651 of them here in North Yorkshire.

The charity says it is important not to lose access to the paths, which were missed off the record of rights of way when local authorities drew it up in the 1950s and 1960s.

Unless they are registered by the Government’s deadline of January 1 2026, they will not be protected as public rights of way.

Ramblers has set up its Don’t Lose Your Way project to identify and record the paths that are most useful to people who live near them – for example, those which help connect communities, or which link circular routes."

About that Bridge, Marvels... and erm the Huts.

"“Improving and expanding our network will give more opportunities for people to access.

“These are rights of way that have been built up over hundreds of years, an important part of our collective heritage, and once they are lost, they are lost forever.

“By protecting these historic paths, we are safeguarding our landscape and our right to access it for the future.”"

"It is hoped the unmanned Chang'e-5 probe, to be launched on Tuesday, will bring back samples to help understand the Moon's origin and formation."


Captain Qahn's picture

Daniel Day Lewis

“At best, it’s drab and dated, and at worst it’s downright filthy – and after eight years at the bottom of our survey, our message is loud and clear: avoid these hotels."


It may be a hovel... but its our hovel.

"The team at the Brunswick say the system involves the use of a smart phone and will enable people to queue virtually and will warn them when their slot is coming up."

Once upon a time, Debenhams said they would move out of town if Primark took over Poundland...

"“While Premier Inn remains a firm favourite, it’s clear that this year, UK hotels have become more than just a place to lay your head, but a destination in themselves.

“With fewer of us travelling abroad this year, our survey shows that when it comes to holidaying at home, we’re quite happy to pay more for a little luxury.""

“Town centre venues should not be able to use the Pubwatch platform to pursue a politically-motivated personal vendetta."

Boots & Shoes.

Captain Qahn's picture

'The Mating Game'

"He was assistant manager at The Corner and also worked at the Floral Hall.

The Scarborough Evening News reported that staff at The Corner remembered Dame Barbara coming in to see Mr Hollings wearing a head scarf as a partial disguise.

She had been to Scarborough as a child to stay at the Norvic guest-house in Victoria Park Avenue, which was run by her uncle, one-time councillor Richard “Digger” Kelly."

Not Quite.

"Flying snakes, expanding fish, shrinking shrews – the real natural histories make the stuff from the films look tame. One display left me genuinely confused between what is Hollywood and what is nature. A bird with dazzling silvery feathers and dangling fascinators looks like a movie creation, and not a very realistic one. In fact, it is a male Lawes’s parotia, or bird of paradise."

"The sitcom was eventually commissioned following the success of the pilot, and ran for nine series between 7 September 1984 until its conclusion on 14 December 1992."

"1983 “The Mating Game” tour resumed after Pantomime in April. In July the show opened for the Summer Season at Scarborough’s Floral Hall- a 1,600 seater. Presented by Charles Vance in association with Newpalm Productions it starred Barbara Windsor, Jack Smethurst, Kathy Staff, Ian Masters and Kirsten Cook...

Kirsten Cooke also appeared at the Floral Hall in a season of ‘Allo Allo, also in the 80’s but I can’t find much info about that."

Cheese & Chutney.

Sleep Tight.

'Guess Who's Bach?'

"Her first set of juvenile feathers began growing in beautifully. But, perhaps because she had nearly died of hunger and dehydration, most of the long flight feathers on her wings did not appear. When she should have been able to fly, Alfie could only hop around."

"A spokeswoman said: "The sheep is not in any immediate danger and has ample grazing and water, however, we are aware they badly require shearing."

"It is not known who owns the sheep because it does not have an identification tag fitted to an ear."

Thou must not Twerk...

"“Libraries are a place that belong to everybody.  "It’s like having a ship in the city that you can go and float on for a bit if you need to.”"

Sandwood Bay.