Who, What & Were

Shall we begin ...

"Obviousy tis an absolute Travesty that the Labour Party would not walk it."

We Aargh where we are:

"Mr Goodwill went on to say he now believes "the Conservative Party is the party for working people," a statement that was met with laughter by those from the opposition...

Towards the end of his speech, the newly-elected MP accused Labour of trying to "bribe people with their own money" in order to win the election and "frighten" people about the future of the NHS, which he said, is "safe in our hands and will never be for sale". 

Finally, Mr Goodwill urged Independent councillors in Scarborough, who teamed up with Labour to get a majority, to "seriously consider who you're working with".


"Jeremy Corbyn has said he will not lead Labour into the next election, following a "very disappointing night" for his party."

Liberal Democrat leader Jo Swinson said "for millions of people around the country the election results would bring "dread and dismay".


The Green Party has held on to their one seat, with Caroline Lucas winning Brighton Pavilion with an increased majority, she says "her "pride" at winning the seat is "tinged with huge sadness and frankly deep anger ...  "that our political system is so badly broken" & "Our electoral system is rotten to the core,"

Boris Johnson's Conservatives need to win 320 seats to be free to govern...

The Conservative party has formally won the election. The party secured a majority by 5am after winning its 326th seat.

Its total so far is 329, followed by Labour on 197, SNP on 45, and Liberal Democrats on 8. The Brexit party have zero.




Boris Goes North

"Boris Johnson is to visit the north of England later, hours after celebrating his party's biggest election win for 30 years by sweeping aside Labour in its traditional heartlands.

The prime minister has said he hopes the Conservatives' victory will bring "closure" to the Brexit debate and "let the healing begin"."





"Mr Johnson, however, is expected to announce a minor re-shuffle possibly as early as Monday."



"So why not give the Tories a free ride for several months while Labour tore itself to pieces? There was madness in his method."

His Royal Usefulness

"The prime minister said he wanted to thank voters in the "incredible" constituencies in north-east England for placing their trust in the Conservatives.

They had "changed the political landscape" and "changed the Conservative Party for the better", he said.

"Everything that we do, everything that I do as your prime minister, will be devoted to repaying that trust," Mr Johnson added.

"We are the servants now and our job is to serve the people of this country and deliver on our priorities. And our priorities and their priorities are the same."


Spose it depends on who has rolled over  'Red Len' ...

Tights or otherwise ;-)


Not quite past his sell by date...




"Lord Heseltine has admitted he and fellow Remain supporters have "lost" following Boris Johnson's general election victory and dismissed the prospect of "fighting on". .. The peer said: "They didn't listen because they wanted to get out of the austerity and they saw Brexit as a route to do that.

"We've lost, we have to face up to that, we're going to leave Europe."

Lord Heseltine himself had the Tory whip withdrawn earlier this year for saying he would "experiment" with voting for the Lib Dems during the European Parliament elections...

Lord Heseltine has now joined other leading figures in abandoning that campaign as the prime minister prepares to put his Brexit deal through parliament."

Ready Brek?

"We are not there to defy the will of the people."

Obviously I read the rules.


Rule No 1.

Never Ever 'poison my chalice'.


Hocus Pocus

"Nepal's government announced that it would cancel all climbing permits from 14 March until 30 April.

China had already cancelled expeditions from the northern, Chinese-controlled, side of the mountain.

According to the Kathmandu Post, the Nepal earns $4m (£3.1m) by issuing Everest climbing permits every year, aside from wider tourism revenue..."


One slight hangover.




Oh Dear ...


The end is Neigh...


Just warming up... honest Guv.

I'll be Bach.




An Orbital Committee

"The authority will carry on “as normal” as it works with bodies across the county to stay on top of the situation."

"The Cabinet Office said it would be bringing forward legislation to enact the elections delay in England, and would ensure the Welsh authorities had the same powers.

The last time elections were delayed was in 2001, when they took place one month late due to the foot and mouth outbreak."

Oh just a minute ... I am the oldest person I know.

"It’s not purely paranoia..."

"This year, three-quarters of a century on, locals swear that the flowers have began to reclaim some of the land lost to them. It is a phenomenon they are at a loss to explain – but the wonder of it will be lost on no-one."

"Carries on regardless.."

"The government is to hold daily televised press conferences to update the public ... Boris Johnson or a senior minister will address the media to ensure people are informed about how to protect themselves."


Keep Digging... tis good for the immunity.



A Love of Hats

"Goths are perhaps the most maligned of all subcultures. Over the decades, they have been unfairly blamed for high-school shootings, depression in teenagers and antisocial behaviour. In reality, goths are a collective of people bound by a shared love of fashion, music and art.

Goth emerged out of the punk scene in the north of England in the 1980s. Its adherents are immediately recognisable by their black clothing and jewellery, their passion for artists such as Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, Nick Cave and the Sisters of Mercy, and their fondness for imagery and lyrics referencing the macabre, darkness and death and the eyeliner, of course..."


Social Engineering ...




Flying buttresses :






Found it ;-0


The Changing of the Guard

"In this new landscape, the only meeting places are virtual, with social media the obvious forum. Much of the online conversation has consisted of bickering over the best way to resist the disease, with last year’s armchair Brexit experts now miraculously reborn as amateur epidemiologists, seamlessly able to move from offering detailed commentary on international trade to the finer points of herd immunity."


"Every year more than 500,000 people die in England and Wales: factor in Scotland and Northern Ireland, and the figure tops 600,000..."

"This in itself would overwhelm the health service - if they were right - putting even more lives at risk, because care would not be available for others."

"What else has not been done is a proper assessment of the economic and social costs of the measures taken, which themselves will put lives and health at risk."



"..  a sudden deterioration in a country’s internet speed means that something is putting the network under strain...

“For people who are in lockdown, or in panic mode, or in self-isolation, the internet has become a fundamentally important part of their information source, and of their consumption of entertainment,” Angus says."



As of March 2019, 5 million people in the UK did not use the internet...


pay attention ;-0


"We see the need for OneWeb, greater now more than ever before."


The Last Resort

"Traffic was reported to be heavy. People were taking to the beaches and congregating in outside areas at cafes and restaurants."


"Other resorts, including Brighton and Hove, were also reported to be busy."


What do they expect?


"People have been urged to stop travelling to the Highlands in a bid to avoid the coronavirus.

It follows reports of people with second homes or those with campervans travelling to the area in recent days."



It would appear that any media who does not agree with the 'Supreme Leader' is being shut down..


The Mean & Green..

A Bright Spark

Lots of irate old people about having a go at each other... and delivery vans being attacked.

tis like old fogies mortal combat outhere..



About that voice over ;-0

'I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end.'


Never, Mind.

""Don't forget that once this damned thing is beaten our beautiful North Yorkshire Coast will still be here for you to enjoy and we all look forward to welcoming you back as soon as is safe, in the meantime please stay safely at home!""



The Non Consumables...


Hale & Pace

"Mr Sunak says the scheme will only be open to those who are already self-employed and have a self-assessment tax return for 2019

It will apply to those with trading profits up to £50,000 a year, he adds.  He says 95% of those who are majority self-employed will benefit.

He says he hopes people will be able to "access" the scheme "no later than June".

"Rishi Sunak says although the money will be paid in one go, there are "multiple avenues of support" as well, including help from councils and plans to defer tax payments.

There's also a question about whether telling people to stay at home could have an adverse effect on their mental and physical health.

England’s deputy chief medical officer Dr Jenny Harries says the vulnerable who are self-isolating have been given information as to how they can receive mental health support.

She adds that with "more free time" because they aren't travelling into work, those working from home may be more able to exercise every day."

Phew ...


"Unlike the employee scheme, the self-employed can continue to work as they receive support.

The money, backdated to March, will arrive directly into people's banks accounts from HMRC, but not until June.

The grants will be taxable, and will need to be declared on tax returns by January 2022.

Company owners who pay themselves a dividend are not covered."


That'll do ..


The Cat is orf to the vets soon '-0


The Efficient

SBC is now collecting DATA for the grant funding for hospitality, retail, etc scroll down the link:


(you will need your last rates bill for Ratable Value and account number)


It is also recommended subject to any 'variables' that all out of work register for Universal Credit subject to status, tinternet access, proof of ID etc.

HMRC have also updated the 'furlough page' for employees temporarily laid off AKA the Job Rentention Scheme.


Keep scrollling ..



""I hope it's cold. I hope it's going to rain," she said."





I forgot to walk the dog ...

to The Three Dragons.

Back Soon.

Q. What if I ceased trading last year?

A: "You can apply if you’re a self-employed individual or a member of a partnership and you:

  • have submitted your Income Tax Self Assessment tax return for the tax year 2018-19
  • traded in the tax year 2019-20
  • are trading when you apply, or would be except for COVID-19
  • intend to continue to trade in the tax year 2020-21
  • have lost trading/partnership trading profits due to COVID-19

Your self-employed trading profits must also be less than £50,000 and more than half of your income come from self-employment. This is determined by at least one of the following conditions being true:

  • having trading profits/partnership trading profits in 2018-19 of less than £50,000 and these profits constitute more than half of your total taxable income
  • having average trading profits in 2016-17, 2017-18, and 2018-19 of less than £50,000 and these profits constitute more than half of your average taxable income in the same period

If you started trading between 2016-19, HMRC will only use those years for which you filed a Self-Assessment tax return...

You cannot apply for this scheme yet.

HMRC will contact you if you are eligible for the scheme and invite you to apply online."


Oh, OK:


Q. "why not release Mike Ashley in the very remotest part of the Peak District, armed only with a backpack containing a 4kg kettle bell (up from £9.99 to £14.99), a 12kg kettle bell (up from £29.99 to £39.99) and a £452 skipping rope?"


I feel some rather expensive McVities coming on..