Who, What & Were

Shall we begin ...

"Obviousy tis an absolute Travesty that the Labour Party would not walk it."

We Aargh where we are:

"Mr Goodwill went on to say he now believes "the Conservative Party is the party for working people," a statement that was met with laughter by those from the opposition...

Towards the end of his speech, the newly-elected MP accused Labour of trying to "bribe people with their own money" in order to win the election and "frighten" people about the future of the NHS, which he said, is "safe in our hands and will never be for sale". 

Finally, Mr Goodwill urged Independent councillors in Scarborough, who teamed up with Labour to get a majority, to "seriously consider who you're working with".


"Jeremy Corbyn has said he will not lead Labour into the next election, following a "very disappointing night" for his party."

Liberal Democrat leader Jo Swinson said "for millions of people around the country the election results would bring "dread and dismay".


The Green Party has held on to their one seat, with Caroline Lucas winning Brighton Pavilion with an increased majority, she says "her "pride" at winning the seat is "tinged with huge sadness and frankly deep anger ...  "that our political system is so badly broken" & "Our electoral system is rotten to the core,"

Boris Johnson's Conservatives need to win 320 seats to be free to govern...

The Conservative party has formally won the election. The party secured a majority by 5am after winning its 326th seat.

Its total so far is 329, followed by Labour on 197, SNP on 45, and Liberal Democrats on 8. The Brexit party have zero.




Boris Goes North

"Boris Johnson is to visit the north of England later, hours after celebrating his party's biggest election win for 30 years by sweeping aside Labour in its traditional heartlands.

The prime minister has said he hopes the Conservatives' victory will bring "closure" to the Brexit debate and "let the healing begin"."





"Mr Johnson, however, is expected to announce a minor re-shuffle possibly as early as Monday."



"So why not give the Tories a free ride for several months while Labour tore itself to pieces? There was madness in his method."

His Royal Usefulness

"The prime minister said he wanted to thank voters in the "incredible" constituencies in north-east England for placing their trust in the Conservatives.

They had "changed the political landscape" and "changed the Conservative Party for the better", he said.

"Everything that we do, everything that I do as your prime minister, will be devoted to repaying that trust," Mr Johnson added.

"We are the servants now and our job is to serve the people of this country and deliver on our priorities. And our priorities and their priorities are the same."


Spose it depends on who has rolled over  'Red Len' ...

Tights or otherwise ;-)


Not quite past his sell by date...




"Lord Heseltine has admitted he and fellow Remain supporters have "lost" following Boris Johnson's general election victory and dismissed the prospect of "fighting on". .. The peer said: "They didn't listen because they wanted to get out of the austerity and they saw Brexit as a route to do that.

"We've lost, we have to face up to that, we're going to leave Europe."

Lord Heseltine himself had the Tory whip withdrawn earlier this year for saying he would "experiment" with voting for the Lib Dems during the European Parliament elections...

Lord Heseltine has now joined other leading figures in abandoning that campaign as the prime minister prepares to put his Brexit deal through parliament."

Ready Brek?

"We are not there to defy the will of the people."

Obviously I read the rules.


Rule No 1.

Never Ever 'poison my chalice'.


Hocus Pocus

"Nepal's government announced that it would cancel all climbing permits from 14 March until 30 April.

China had already cancelled expeditions from the northern, Chinese-controlled, side of the mountain.

According to the Kathmandu Post, the Nepal earns $4m (£3.1m) by issuing Everest climbing permits every year, aside from wider tourism revenue..."


One slight hangover.




Oh Dear ...


The end is Neigh...


Just warming up... honest Guv.

I'll be Bach.




An Orbital Committee

"The authority will carry on “as normal” as it works with bodies across the county to stay on top of the situation."

"The Cabinet Office said it would be bringing forward legislation to enact the elections delay in England, and would ensure the Welsh authorities had the same powers.

The last time elections were delayed was in 2001, when they took place one month late due to the foot and mouth outbreak."

Oh just a minute ... I am the oldest person I know.

"It’s not purely paranoia..."

"This year, three-quarters of a century on, locals swear that the flowers have began to reclaim some of the land lost to them. It is a phenomenon they are at a loss to explain – but the wonder of it will be lost on no-one."

"Carries on regardless.."

"The government is to hold daily televised press conferences to update the public ... Boris Johnson or a senior minister will address the media to ensure people are informed about how to protect themselves."


Keep Digging... tis good for the immunity.



The Inkubated

Ya can go off Auld people ...




Never Mind.


Keep Busy.



Watch this Space.

@ the Grumpies


Best not mention rollercoasters.

Rock n Roll.

(thats me knicker draw sorted)


That feels better. ;-00

One for the Collection.

Just don't mention Narnia ;-)

Grade II

"Scarborough Council could hold its meetings remotely ..

"Legislation could also be brought forward to allow votes to be taken remotely, something which is not possible for councils currently.

“As part of the national effort to eep the public safe and deliver essential public services, this government stands with local councils at this difficult time...  Everyone needs to play their part to help the most vulnerable in society and support their local economy, and the government will do whatever is necessary to support these efforts.”

As suggest by MDM at the last SBC Cabinet meeting.


About that band stand -:


"... rules around the time required to respond to Freedom of Information (FOI) requests would also be relaxed."



"My late grandmother lived through poverty, wars and military occupation – if you had asked her how to prepare for hard times, she’d grab a spade and start digging a vegetable garden."


Candles in the Wind

Imagine ...

The most qualified members of SBC hold Irish passports.

Best not mention Crayons   :-))


"They are solitary creatures who spend their time making and mending shoes and have a hidden pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If captured by a human, they often grant three wishes in exchange for their freedom. Like other Irish fairies, leprechauns may be derived from the Tuatha Dé Danann."

"One-third of Irish people believe that leprechauns exist"

"Though still sceptical, Woods was determined to discover the truth and, that same year, led an organised leprechaun hunt in the region that sparked confusion and amusement alike.

It would ultimately prove a fruitless endeavour though, with no trace of the ancient Irish being discovered during their travails. Had the leprechauns gone into hiding? Died out? Did they ever exist in the first place?

For a while everything went quiet as interest in finding a real-life Leprechaun died down. People returned to normal life and the whole thing was laughed off."

"In 2009 the 236 surviving Leprechauns in Ireland were afforded protection under the European Habitats Directive."

"Leprechauns may not exist. The whole thing may have been a hoax. But try telling that to this Irish community during hunting season. They might just tell you otherwise."

Peter Piper Pecked a Pick of Pickled Peppers ...


"Death’s wings are beating countless millions towards the world of the sick today. You may enter full of confidence. You may think good health is like a car, and a hospital is a garage where you can park your malfunctioning body for the professionals to fix. Your confidence comes from the luck of living in an advanced scientific society with history’s longest life expectancy and highest living standards. The world of the sick teaches you to dispense with certainties. You discover that your condition, or in my case the condition of someone you love, which seemed a temporary malfunction, is incurable or is possibly incurable, for no one really knows.

Only the unlucky think about luck. Lucky people can fail to realise that luck exists. They think they have succeeded on merit, or they have thrived because of their good character or lovable personality. As comfortable people, they revolt against the thought that their comfort can ever end and their lives are contingent."



A Love of Hats

"Goths are perhaps the most maligned of all subcultures. Over the decades, they have been unfairly blamed for high-school shootings, depression in teenagers and antisocial behaviour. In reality, goths are a collective of people bound by a shared love of fashion, music and art.

Goth emerged out of the punk scene in the north of England in the 1980s. Its adherents are immediately recognisable by their black clothing and jewellery, their passion for artists such as Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, Nick Cave and the Sisters of Mercy, and their fondness for imagery and lyrics referencing the macabre, darkness and death and the eyeliner, of course..."


Social Engineering ...




Flying buttresses :






Found it ;-0


Who Cares Wins?

"We go from bats starting as strangers from different colonies to groupmates that act to save each other's life," said Prof Gerald Carter, author of the study and behavioural ecologist at Ohio State University.

"They have this 'boom and bust' foraging experience, so they either hit it big and get a large blood meal or they're starved for that night..."


On closer inspection of the self help funding it would appear that most of the funding is to safeguard the civil service and strengthen the local authorities, ie it is for the NDDR classified and not those working from home.  Thou I do have it on good authority that SBC will bend over backwards to assist and support any and all applications it receives.

The British Bank link suggests that each bank will have their own criteria with a Govt. 80% guarantee, so that will be interesting when it goes live on Monday.

Universal credit is relaxing its rules and with production companies taking ad hoc holidays and cutting salaries and wages by up to 50% there should no doubt be a stampede towards a Basic Income Guarantee.

In terms of equality 70% of those working in the tourism & hospitality industry are women, the majority of whom are expected to stay at home wondering what Mothers Day ever did for them.


Always check the small print.

"“Thousands of people are already losing their jobs, it’s happening today. Millions will face the same threat. They need reassurance and support, and they need it today. They need an income guarantee."

“In the last financial crisis, the banks were bailed out but ordinary people were not. Prime minister, you have it within your power to protect people’s incomes and provide them with peace of mind.”

Johnson agreed to hold talks with supporters of the universal income scheme, adding: “I agree profoundly with what he said about not repeating history...""

I simply can't wait for the gangs of youths roaming the streets... fighting an invisible enemy. 

One for the clinically obsessed: -0


The Contingent not Contagent.

Odds on more people die from fear, anxiety and  mass hysterical terror... doom & gloom.

"Please leave the room, close the door and start a disinfection," says a voice from the robot..."


Ultra Violet.

"Ultraviolet (UV) light has shorter wavelengths than visible light. Although UV waves are invisible to the human eye, some insects, such as bumblebees, can see them. This is similar to how a dog can hear the sound of a whistle just outside the hearing range of humans."


Keep Busy.

What is incredible is how Boris's present incubation 'experts' reafirm the 'unprecedented'  nature of this crisis - a contradiction in terms. 

Statements that we are all in this together are simply not true.  The South and Cities are more at risk of spreading the contagent  yet outlining areas eg coastal areas are being asked to adhere to the same rules.


Is self isolation to then wake up and smell the roses?   

That is the question.

To Be or not to Be

""We are telling cafes, pubs, bars and restaurants to close tonight as soon as they reasonably can and not reopen tomorrow."

Places like nightclubs, cinemas and gyms will also follow suit.""

Thou must not Rage ..

Oi Boris .. get a grip.

"The government will pay 80% of wages for employees not working, up to £2,500 a month, the chancellor says."

Thats the North of England wins a massive pay rise then ..



Just one question ... where will they put all the 'incubated' ?


The Changing of the Guard

"In this new landscape, the only meeting places are virtual, with social media the obvious forum. Much of the online conversation has consisted of bickering over the best way to resist the disease, with last year’s armchair Brexit experts now miraculously reborn as amateur epidemiologists, seamlessly able to move from offering detailed commentary on international trade to the finer points of herd immunity."


"Every year more than 500,000 people die in England and Wales: factor in Scotland and Northern Ireland, and the figure tops 600,000..."

"This in itself would overwhelm the health service - if they were right - putting even more lives at risk, because care would not be available for others."

"What else has not been done is a proper assessment of the economic and social costs of the measures taken, which themselves will put lives and health at risk."



"..  a sudden deterioration in a country’s internet speed means that something is putting the network under strain...

“For people who are in lockdown, or in panic mode, or in self-isolation, the internet has become a fundamentally important part of their information source, and of their consumption of entertainment,” Angus says."



As of March 2019, 5 million people in the UK did not use the internet...


pay attention ;-0


"We see the need for OneWeb, greater now more than ever before."


The Last Resort

"Traffic was reported to be heavy. People were taking to the beaches and congregating in outside areas at cafes and restaurants."


"Other resorts, including Brighton and Hove, were also reported to be busy."


What do they expect?


"People have been urged to stop travelling to the Highlands in a bid to avoid the coronavirus.

It follows reports of people with second homes or those with campervans travelling to the area in recent days."



It would appear that any media who does not agree with the 'Supreme Leader' is being shut down..


The Mean & Green..

The Incumbant

"Based in a former church, tables for up to 120 diners sit in-between floor-to-ceiling beams, with a professional kitchen at the back - once the heartbeat of the operation.

But today it is all empty."


Sleep Tight.



"common sense is one of our biggest weapons"


A Bright Spark

Lots of irate old people about having a go at each other... and delivery vans being attacked.

tis like old fogies mortal combat outhere..



About that voice over ;-0

'I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end.'


Never, Mind.

""Don't forget that once this damned thing is beaten our beautiful North Yorkshire Coast will still be here for you to enjoy and we all look forward to welcoming you back as soon as is safe, in the meantime please stay safely at home!""



The Non Consumables...


Collateral Damage

Those who are registered for NDDR are to receive a grant by the Local Authority:

"In England, under the Retail, Hospitality and Leisure Grant (RHLG) announced on Monday March 16, businesses and premises in England in the retail, hospitality and leisure sectors will be eligible for cash grants of up to £25,000 per property. Eligible businesses in these sectors with a property that has a rateable value of up to £15,000 will receive a grant of £10,000. Eligible businesses and premises in these sectors with a property that has a rateable value of between £15,001 and £51,000 will receive a grant of £25,000."


It is reported that these grants will be sent out automatically to those registered for NDDR once the monies (funding) has been received from Central Government. 

Grants are not repayable, loans are.

The CBIL Bank scheme has gone live to day with most banks rather, erm busy...  and is subject to criteria and the usual dogma.  Some banks portals are better than the rest, eg Lloyds... but you have to currently bank with them.

Thou must not switch.

Sole traders & those who work from home, etc who have been advised to claim SSP, ESA, furlonged etc are being asked to complete the incomprehesible and evidence to support their claim via an HMRC 'portal' that does not yet exist.

Meanwhile the Universal Credit system is asking for photo ID, proof of earnings (split monthly) and any of your 'gadgets' that you may wish or otherwise to display.

Further help for the gig economy/sole-traders is expected to be announced shortly ...

Meanwhile, I should add most of the Mortgage companies & credit companies are quite erm, relaxed and  expect this to be all over in three months, and are offering time to pay etc etc.

If you are in serious sh*t financially, for direct contact:  https://www.stepchange.org/



Thou must not Park.

""where people absolutely cannot work from home they can go still go to work, indeed it's important that they do to keep the country running"."




Rest Assured.


"addressing the issue was "incredibly complicated" and admitted that it was "proving problematic...

"The "challenge" the chancellor told MPs was in "designing something that gets to the people who we want to help, while at the same time being affordable and not having to benefit absolutely everybody."

"there were significantly fewer than five million likely claimants.

One million of that number were tax returns for less than £2,000, so mainly sources of additional income for a main job. Up to another million were already in receipt of Universal Credit.

Around half a million were older than the state pension age. Again he repeatedly suggested that some self-employed workers might even be earning more now than before."

Phew ... ;-/



All work is essential.


"People who are unemployed: have higher rates of physical and mental health problems; take more medication and use more medical services; have a shorter life expectancy."

Keep Busy.



The Joy of Sect


'Why is at his holiday, not at his main residence like everyone else?'




"Kevin Hollinrake MP, a former business owner who chairs the group, said: "I asked the chief secretary to the Treasury [Steve Barclay] in the House of Commons - does the new scheme include personal guarantees and he said it was his understanding that it would not. Well it's my understand now that it will.

"It should not include [personal guarantees]. If it does, very few business owners are going to want to take it up. In normal business circumstances, you can't expect banks to lend money without some sort of commitment. But these are unheralded times and unprecedented measures."

My bank asked "what if you become ill.. how will your business continue"

"Wot, you mean is... what if I drop dead?"

"It said banks were seeking security - property they can repossess if the loan is not repaid - for the entire value of the business interruption loans."



Anyone would have thunk I'd spent all of their money ... on somin stoopid... hey ho... ie it was for thier 'concern' not mine.



Good Old Fashioned Voodoo

Hmmm ....


"A promontory is a raised mass of land that projects into a lowland or a body of water (in which case it is a peninsula)."


"Amnesty International UK's head of policy and government affairs, Allan Hogarth, said elderly prisoners and those with underlying medical conditions should "immediately" be considered for release "if they do not pose a threat to themselves or society"."

I feel some window dressing coming on ...


No Ventilation Required.


Hale & Pace

"Mr Sunak says the scheme will only be open to those who are already self-employed and have a self-assessment tax return for 2019

It will apply to those with trading profits up to £50,000 a year, he adds.  He says 95% of those who are majority self-employed will benefit.

He says he hopes people will be able to "access" the scheme "no later than June".

"Rishi Sunak says although the money will be paid in one go, there are "multiple avenues of support" as well, including help from councils and plans to defer tax payments.

There's also a question about whether telling people to stay at home could have an adverse effect on their mental and physical health.

England’s deputy chief medical officer Dr Jenny Harries says the vulnerable who are self-isolating have been given information as to how they can receive mental health support.

She adds that with "more free time" because they aren't travelling into work, those working from home may be more able to exercise every day."

Phew ...


"Unlike the employee scheme, the self-employed can continue to work as they receive support.

The money, backdated to March, will arrive directly into people's banks accounts from HMRC, but not until June.

The grants will be taxable, and will need to be declared on tax returns by January 2022.

Company owners who pay themselves a dividend are not covered."


That'll do ..


The Cat is orf to the vets soon '-0


The Efficient

SBC is now collecting DATA for the grant funding for hospitality, retail, etc scroll down the link:


(you will need your last rates bill for Ratable Value and account number)


It is also recommended subject to any 'variables' that all out of work register for Universal Credit subject to status, tinternet access, proof of ID etc.

HMRC have also updated the 'furlough page' for employees temporarily laid off AKA the Job Rentention Scheme.


Keep scrollling ..



""I hope it's cold. I hope it's going to rain," she said."





I forgot to walk the dog ...

to The Three Dragons.

Back Soon.

Q. What if I ceased trading last year?

A: "You can apply if you’re a self-employed individual or a member of a partnership and you:

  • have submitted your Income Tax Self Assessment tax return for the tax year 2018-19
  • traded in the tax year 2019-20
  • are trading when you apply, or would be except for COVID-19
  • intend to continue to trade in the tax year 2020-21
  • have lost trading/partnership trading profits due to COVID-19

Your self-employed trading profits must also be less than £50,000 and more than half of your income come from self-employment. This is determined by at least one of the following conditions being true:

  • having trading profits/partnership trading profits in 2018-19 of less than £50,000 and these profits constitute more than half of your total taxable income
  • having average trading profits in 2016-17, 2017-18, and 2018-19 of less than £50,000 and these profits constitute more than half of your average taxable income in the same period

If you started trading between 2016-19, HMRC will only use those years for which you filed a Self-Assessment tax return...

You cannot apply for this scheme yet.

HMRC will contact you if you are eligible for the scheme and invite you to apply online."


Oh, OK:


Q. "why not release Mike Ashley in the very remotest part of the Peak District, armed only with a backpack containing a 4kg kettle bell (up from £9.99 to £14.99), a 12kg kettle bell (up from £29.99 to £39.99) and a £452 skipping rope?"


I feel some rather expensive McVities coming on..


Game of Thrones ...

"“You would not have an empire without us,” an Air n B host shouts down the lens in a video addressing the company’s billionaire co-founder and chief executive Brian Chesky. “It’s our homes on your platform. It’s our face on millions of listings. It’s our soul that brings the magic … It’s our place that makes you money.”"



"To try and make some income from their empty properties landlords have flooded the rental market with their Airbnb flats. On Edinburgh’s Princes Street, for example, there are 209 Airbnb listings on a road of just 494 homes. Property portal Rightmove said the number of new rentals coming on to the market in the week the UK lockdown started increased by 45% in London, up 55% in Brighton, 62% in Edinburgh and 78% in Bath. It’s a similar story the world over with a 61% increase in Dublin and 41% in Prague."

Foiled again ...



"It is absolutely not possible to facilitate distance-learning with a primary-aged child and work from home at the same time. The very idea is nonsense. If you're trying to do that, stop now. You can certainly have activities where your child learns, but your focus is your job, and survival. Stop trying to be superheroes." Joseph Hellett to parents in Hastings."



Though must not So...

"A Dalek has been spotted patrolling the streets of Robin Hood's Bay..."



Oh OK ;-0


"In the UK, we have made available 13 apartments in our St Andrews House building, which forms part of the Group’s new London headquarters, for NHS staff working at the nearby St Bart’s Hospital over the next three months."



Sleep Tight.

Things are getting Serious

"“Our colleagues in Skaro division have deployed their Direct Action Local Enforcement Kops to ensure everyone is following guidelines about isolation and social distancing.”..


"The government has temporarily removed the legal requirement for local authorities to hold public meetings in person meaning that video conferencing will be able to be used going forward.

The requirement for meetings to be made accessible to the public remains, but it is up to each council to decide how it conducts meetings, how voting procedures work and how to ensure that the public has access."


""And if a Cyberman came marching down the road, that would be it, I’d be running for my life!”""


"Wednesday’s full moon is the second of six supermoons that take place this year... As it moves around its orbit, the moon’s distance varies from around 356,400 to 406,700km."

Awwe ..

"The foreign secretary says Boris Johnson is "receiving the very best care from the excellent medical team" and remained stable overnight.

He also says he remains in "good spirits" and his progress continues to be monitored closely."


Oh, OK:


"You know how to Whistle, don't you?"

"The third and last full moon supermoon will take place on 7 May. The three new moon supermoons this autumn will take place on 17 September, 16 October, and 15 November."


Good Old Doris..


'Not as We Know It'

"If you have a favourite jumper or socks that need mending, now might be the time to take up the ancient art of darning. There are lots of creative examples and videos online..."

"Er, yes. Except the buck has always stopped with the prime minister. Now it seemed the buck stopped nowhere. All that was happening was that the entire cabinet was gathering round a crystal ball, while trying to channel the inner spirit of Boris."


"Liz Colling, Deputy Leader, said:   "We have sent some bin collectors before it all kicked off because they had underlying health conditions. So the ones that you see are fit and healthy and almost volunteers if you like"."

Big Ears ;-0


"And what was coming back was presumably total gibberish, as it’s been well documented that in the week Boris was in isolation in Downing Street the entire cabinet was squabbling like rats in a sack. Some have never even left the sack. Despite being home secretary, Priti Patel has never been allowed anywhere near a No 10 press briefing. Small mercies, I suppose.

In the meantime, the Govester doesn’t even trust Dom to make the coffee at cabinet meetings. God knows what would happen if there was another serious emergency, such as floods or a terrorist attack. The entire cabinet would be briefing against each other, with each person having a different idea of what Boris would really have wanted. Presumably Mikey and Dom have already arm-wrestled one another for possession of the nuclear button. It’s leadership, Jim, but not as we know it."

Hmmm ...




"The Job Retention Scheme aimed at protecting jobs has been widely welcomed by companies, which have seen their incomes plummet because of the shutdown and which need help to stay in business and keep staff on.... and is set to go live on 20th April"

Hoorah !!


"Downing Street said he was not working but could contact those he needed to.

No 10 said a review of lockdown rules would go ahead as planned next week, but the public must "stick with" the measures at what was a "critical time"..."

Chews wisely... ;-0



Tesco's have introduced a one way system   ..

Rather challenging...if you can't find the pegs



'Each & Equally'

"I’ve got all the authority I need to make the relevant decisions."



"It is a team effort - we have got to keep it up...

"People are working heroically" in intensive care units, but numbers are not accelerating, he adds."

"While we wait, why not be cheered up by this video of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge chatting to the children of key workers?"


""So what might a timetable look like? Once the peak in daily deaths has been reached – possibly in the next week or so – even the best-case scenario suggests that it will take a month or two for the numbers dying to fall to low levels.

That gets us well into May and maybe to early June, and it’ll be a brave political decision to ease the restrictions any earlier if there’s a risk of a "second peak", a resurgence of the virus."


""We've had vandalism on masts, we've had employees - these engineers, these key workers working so hard - have had verbal and in some cases physical abuse.

"At a time where all of us need data and communication and the internet and connectivity more than ever before, we have got masts being vandalised and in some cases set on fire.

"Can you imagine, a 999 call right now not getting through because some vandal has set fire to or destroyed one of our masts? That would be unimaginable.

"It's really disappointing that we are seeing some of these crazy theories out there.

"There is no evidence at all to back it up."

Erm ...  0800 800 150



"Please rest assured that we will be back in 2021 with an amazing programme."

The promoters are working with their ticketing partners who will be in touch with those who have already bought tickets soon to process refunds.

Mr Cuffe and Mr Taylor added: "Finally, we would like to thank the staff at venue and Scarborough Council. Their support assistance and partnership continues to be unwavering.

"Peace, love, kindness and thanks. See you in 2021.""



"Amid all the speculation about when and how the UK’s lockdown may be relaxed, it’s worth looking back at the original scientific advice that led to the measures in the first place.

It makes clear that nothing is likely change soon.

The government’s scientific advisory committee SAGE has always suggested that a 13-week programme of interventions will be needed.

And although that sounds like very precise timing, it all depends on how the British public respond.

The scientists made a fairly pessimistic assumption: that only 50% of households would observe the requirements.

So what might a timetable look like? Once the peak in daily deaths has been reached – possibly in the next week or so – even the best-case scenario suggests that it will take a month or two for the numbers dying to fall to low levels.

That gets us well into May and maybe to early June, and it’ll be a brave political decision to ease the restrictions any earlier if there’s a risk of a "second peak", a resurgence of the virus."


"“applause is nice but financial security and reward are even better. We are working on this”."

"Pointing out both familiar and unfamiliar buildings, it’s an interesting chance to compare “then” and “now”, though you may need a magnifying glass (or eyesight better than mine) to follow the map...

“Only at Monte Carlo can one find anything approaching the splendour of its setting...

"Passing the old “Greensmith and Thackwray, Indian and Colonial Outfitters” sign over a coffee shop, I press on and ponder afternoon tea at the Conservatory Coffee Shop. But no, my train home leaves in 20 minutes..


Wish I was here?

“Stick to the plan.”


'Random Raab'

"He looks less unstable and more the man who can easily see out 24 hours of close police interrogation over unsolved missing persons cases. Though he might have struggled if anyone had questioned him about the disappearance of the home secretary.

It also helped that the foreign secretary didn’t have any news, other than the grim daily death statistics, to impart. So he could stick to doing what he knows best, which is spilling out a random series of words, only some of which amount to fully coherent sentences. At some point in his career, the black-belt martial arts specialist is going to have to realise that the brain is also a muscle. Coming up with lines like “We are focusing on the things we need to focus on” may sound impressive at cabinet meetings, but doesn’t translate well to those of us who speak human..."


Ah, So ... ;-

"The three will replace Oleg Skripochka, Andrew Morgan and Jessica Meir who are due to make their return journey from the ISS on 17 April."


Hmmm ...



Eeek ...



'Stark Figures'

"Priti Patel says Prime Minister Boris Johnson "continues to make good progress" in his recovery from coronavirus..."

"A national communications campaign will be launched for those at risk from domestic abuse, Home Secretary Priti Patel says.

It will be launched under the hashtag #YouAreNotAlone and aim to reassure people affected by domestic abuse that they can still seek help and leave home to access services they need.

"Where a victim and their children do need to leave, we will ensure they have a safe place to go to," she says..."


"The prime minister has been playing games and watching films in hospital.  There was no update on when he is likely to be discharged.  The movies the PM has been watching are said to include Withnail And I, starring Richard E Grant, and the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

He has also been doing sudoku."



"Moving onto police powers, the home secretary thanks the police for working "tirelessly to keep us safe" during the lockdown."

"“This shows the overwhelming majority of people are staying at home to save lives."

He says police will publish “enforcement data every fortnight as we move through the crisis”."

"The National Police Chiefs' Council chairman says officers are still out in their communities fighting all crime despite the coronavirus crisis. He gives some examples, including:

  • A man arrested on the Isle of Wight in connection with the importation of cocaine
  • Some 400 domestic abuse suspects were arrested in two weeks in the West Midlands
  • A man has been jailed for stealing PPE from a hospital in London"


"The home secretary is asked whether there is a date when the right quantities will reach the right people.

Priti Patel doesn't give a date, but says the government is working very hard to secure kit for all those who need it. Pressed again to offer one, she says she "the plan has been outlined" by the health secretary."


"Priti Patel is asked whether she will apologise to NHS workers, amid complaints about a lack of PPE in hospitals that is putting people's lives at risk.

Patel says the UK government is focused on getting PPE to “everyone in the NHS” and has a "clear plan".

However, she admits there have been distribution issues, which she says the government has addressed. She speaks of a “Herculean effort” to boost capability and capacity, echoing UK Health Secretary Matt Hancock.

Gilmore again asks: “But no apology for failings that the NHS has blamed on the government?”

Patel says she is “sorry that people feel that way” about the government’s response, stressing that “we are in the middle of a global health crisis”.

"I'm sorry if people feel there have been failings," she says."


"Nice way to spread infection shoving dirty notes through someones letterbox and being where they were not supposed to be."


"The home secretary is asked what Cabinet thinks about when the prime minister, who is still in hospital with coronavirus, should get back to work.

Priti Patel doesn't give any specific timings, but says: "We want him to get better and he needs the time and space to rest, recuperate, and recover."


"Nelson asks whether it is possible that the restrictions won’t be lifted until a vaccine has been developed. Most experts say a vaccine won't be ready for widespread use for at least a year."

Thats not true...


"He won’t be drawn on a specific timeline for lifting restrictions, saying he and other medical advisers are there to do just that - ..."


"Asked where she has been for the last three weeks as the coronavirus crisis has escalated, Priti Patel says she has been working at the Home Office “virtually every single day”.

She says she has been working on policy areas related to the pandemic, including visa changes and border force issues.

“Viewers at home will want to know all of their ministers are working night and day to defeat the virus,” she says.

In recent days, some journalists and political commentators had been asking why the home secretary had not been appearing in the media or at the government's briefings."

There be some very judgemental spiteful self righteous gits of curtain twitcher men pepes out there ...

Mind your back.... “floating security”

Wax On, Wax Off..


The Enabled.

Beaches & Peaches

"This would not give us the time or flexibility to react to any easing of social distancing measures that could see our beaches suddenly become busy again."


"“We don’t really know.” Perhaps, she muses, the problem is something to do with the “diverse mix of people onboard our ships” and is “being magnified by our core values to respect, protect and connect the world”. She implores her “guests” with a “simple request”: “We ask you to book a future Princess cruise to your dream destination … as a symbol to the world that the things that connect us are stronger than those that divide us.”



"Cruises, as Wallace put it, serve that “part of me that craves pampering and passive pleasure: the dissatisfied-infant part of me, the part that always and indiscriminately wants”. Cruises are founded on fantasy, which means the removal from view of anything irksome or demanding of difficult choices..."






Hmmm ...


Quite fancied a cruise up the Volga ...

Never, Mind ;-0


Best not mention Crayons...


Britons Gone Bonkers

"Boris Johnson’s fiancee, Carrie Symonds has given birth to their baby boy...

A spokeswoman for the prime minister and his partner said both mother and baby were “doing very well” after the birth in a London hospital on Wednesday morning..."

Thou must not fall behind...





"Residents in Scarborough borough are being encouraged to report irresponsible behaviour during Coronavirus."


"A spokesperson said:

“The review of the Local Plan continues and we hope to be able to engage with the community later this year on the first phase of this review.

Many of you have already signed up to receive updates and we thank you for your interest to date. or those who haven’t yet signed up then please visit the following website to do so https://scarborough-consult.objective.co.uk/kse/.”

It is hoped the new Local Plan will be adopted in 2023."

I feel a 'Garden City' coming on ...


Oh, OK:



Cabin Fever

"Scarborough Borough Council’s Cabinet will be asked to approve a package of community support for residents in Eastfield when they meet on May 12th as well as giving the green light to plans for 5,000 new homes in the area.

If approved, the community support package would see £1.2 million invested in five areas of work as part of the wider Eastfield regeneration programme..."


Oh Dear ...


"The council says more than £3 million has been set aside for investment in Eastfield, with the money coming from the sale of council owned land for housing.

At the meeting on May 12th the Cabinet will also be asked to review the Eastfield and Scarborough South masterplan which was finalised in April."


"If you can persevere, don’t be fobbed off and take second best to your legal rights.”




None the Wiser ;-0






Never, Mind ... ;-0


Thou must not Goggle... they've got whale bones ffs!!


The Wind Up Zone

"It's shifted in recent years away from Canada towards Siberia. And this rapid movement has required more frequent updates to navigation systems, including those that operate the mapping functions in smartphones...

"After more than a month of tight controls on social and business activity across Britain and in other countries around the world, the UK is on the brink of the deepest recession in living memory."

"A team, led from Leeds University, says the behaviour is explained by the competition of two magnetic "blobs" on the edge of the Earth's outer core.

Changes in the flow of molten material in the planet's interior have altered the strength of the above regions of negative magnetic flux."



“My board left a bioluminescent wake. There were a few of us out there and we were giggling, grown men shouting ‘this is so cool’ and splashing around like kids in the bathtub.”

"people would be lucky to see Comet Swan with the naked eye, but it was in the same part of the sky that people would be looking at to see the meteors."


"Oh, and close your windows when you are at home."


"Think about whether you could yell it across a supermarket."



Keep Scrolling

"Liz Colling, Deputy Leader of Scarborough Borough Council, said:   "I don't think they're formally re-opening to be fair, but there have been a number of toings and froings and cars, looking like people are moving in.   If you see something like that and it concerns you, and this one was over the weekend, then ring police on 101, but if it's during the week, you can contact Safer Scarborough Hub.   But can I remind everyone there are legitimate reasons for occupancy. Key workers, and I'm really grateful to those holiday accommodations who are putting up our nurses and doctors.

We've had people take in the homeless, which is amazing.   Legitimately, if you've got a holiday home and you've been here since the 26th of March, and you've taken in my opinion, a wise decision to see the lock down out, then that's absolutely fine too.

But it's the toing and froing and the travelling that we really want to stop."


How very odd.



Land of the Lost

“I’m loving the idea of being here for a sustained period of time,” says Dominic Dummings, speaking over Zoom from his “country pile” buried deep in New York’s Catskill mountains. It is purpose-built for isolation..."

"The processes for selecting, educating, and training those at the apex of politics are between inadequate and disastrous' he wrote in the second of two fulminations against the fecklessness of British political leadership stretching back only 150 years. For, alas, 'almost nobody has the skills needed to cope with the complexity they face or even to understand the tools… that might help them'. The end result is that 'Westminster and Whitehall train people to fail, predictably and repeatedly'."


"It's a real thrill to see the machines slowly power up and watch as ink starts to appear on the vast sheets of paper overhead. It makes you appreciate the physical paper even more when you see the work that goes into it."


"Glibness is no longer quite so charming..."

An Unexpected Journey

“It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt,
It lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills,
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien"


""It is now almost two months since the people of this country began to put up with restrictions on their freedom – your freedom – of a kind that we have never seen before in peace or war..."


Never, Mind..


Back to it...


To be fair ... Boris don't look too 'perky'

Erm ...



Cabinet on Lockdown

""Let's just respect the restrictions we have in place for now and work through together a safe way to come out of lockdown.   

I think there's a lot of speculation but that doesn't mean that we can go, for instance, walk around the town and have a bit of a mooch and a window shop.

But now is not the time to be lingering, just hold on, see what the Government says and plan accordingly"


"Members of the public will be able to watch the meeting live on the council’s You Tube channel at youtube.com/scarboroughcouncil

The opportunity for people to submit questions in advance of the meeting remains the same."



Captain Black's picture

Shops n Branches

"Mr Johnson said new guidance had been published for the retail sector "detailing the measures they should take to meet the necessary social distancing and hygiene standards".

"Shops now have the time to implement this guidance before they reopen," he said.

"This will ensure there can be no doubt about what steps they should take."


"Shops and branches include all retail stores. This includes:

  • food retailers
  • chemists
  • hardware/homeware stores
  • fashion shops
  • charity shops
  • betting shops and arcades
  • tailors, dress fitters and fashion designers
  • car dealerships
  • auction houses
  • antique stores
  • retail art galleries
  • photography studios
  • gift shops and retail spaces in theatres, museums, libraries, heritage sites and tourism sites
  • mobile phone stores
  • indoor and outdoor markets
  • craft fairs
  • similar types of retail.

The guidance applies to those currently open and will help those that are currently closed consider what their operations need to look like when they are allowed to open."


"I don't tell my wife what to do.."